One step at a time . . .

Race in Indy

We went to Indianapolis for the weekend and had a great time at the zoo and children's museum there. The kids LOVED it. The zoo had a roller coaster - so the kids all had their first roller coaster experience. Christian  and Anton loved it. Hannah refused to EVER ride a roller coaster AGAIN!!!!!  The zoo train was more Hannah's speed. We ended the weekend with my triathlon. Aric managed to tote the kids around to multiple spots to cheer me through the race. He also took some great pictures, as usual. I ended up in 3rd overall and had a pretty good race. 

Race in Indy

We went to Indianapolis for the weekend and had a great time at the zoo and children's museum there. The kids LOVED it. The zoo had a roller coaster - so the kids all had their first roller coaster experience. Christian  and Anton loved it. Hannah refused to EVER ride a roller coaster AGAIN!!!!!  The zoo train was more Hannah's speed. We ended the weekend with my triathlon. Aric managed to tote the kids around to multiple spots to cheer me through the race. He also took some great pictures, as usual. I ended up in 3rd overall and had a pretty good race. 

In Season

Cherries are in season!

quote of the day

Me: "Anton, you can't throw all your clothes on the floor when you want to find a shirt in the clean laundry basket." 

Anton: "It's not my fault (me giving him a look)... God made me this way!

Good one, kid. 

grief

Grief- it's a strange emotion because it never really leaves us. It is always there, waiting for the opportunity to express itself. Sometimes, when it comes, it feels like a distant ache - something we realize has always been there, but something has caused it to resurface. It isn't the sharp pain of recent loss... but the pain is still real.

Sometimes it returns full force - as if we have just lost what has been gone for years. It feels like if we allow this pain, it may overtake us.

It is this second return of grief that hit yesterday. Yesterday, Aric, Jeanne and I took apart the one "thing" in this world that I am completely attached to. My piano. My mom's piano. My grandmother's piano. My great grandfather's piano. My piano. It is the one thing I have left that my mom touched, played and loved. She shared her music with me through that piano. When her hands tremmored too much for her to play, she sat at that bench and taught me. She taught me how to play by ear. Our hands danced on the keys of that piano together. We shared the gift of music at that piano. I can still see her hands on the keys.

But the piano died. It's keys stick and the strings can no longer hold a tune. The cost to repair the piano is far greater than it's financial worth - and, even fully restored, it would not last to be passed down through the next four generations. It is time to say good-bye.

So, as Aric and Jeanne carried pieces of this heirloom down to our basement (pieces I hope to make into something), I sat on our couch and tried to supress the tears and grief I thought might overtake me- and they did and are. I realize I am not grieving the piano... not really. I am just pealing away yet another layer of ther grief that lives in me all the time. It has been 13 years and yet this grief is as real right now as it was in the days after the loss. I love that piano. I love my mom. 

But, as many people have said to me in the last few weeks as I've tried to come to terms with this parting... the gift is not in the piano. The gift she passes along is the gift of music. I treasure this gift we shared. 

Hannah's dream of heaven

MY DREAM            BY:   HANNAH DESSHEM

T his is a real dream I have had since I was 4 .I am always  the  4 yr. old me. 

 I am walking through a prairie  at night  and all the sudden the clouds form into  a ladder. I  climb up the ladder  into heaven. The  first room I walk into  has  pink rose wallpaper and smells like roses. In the middle is a big gold table with lots of gold chairs. There is  a big gold chandelier. The next room is a “bedroom.” It is white with a lot of  gold coffins. This is where  the spirits of people hang out. The spirits are like a circle of gold mist with a mouth. There is one spirit I remember well. it is the spirit of an old man. He was always very nice to me.The next room is the room where God is.  It is navy blue with three gold thrones connected. The biggest one is where God “sits” (he actually sort-of hangs above it). “He” is like a cloud – with lots of ears to hear everyone’s prayers and he has a lot of mouths to speak and he has a lot of eyes to look out for people. On the next smaller throne sits Jesus. Have you ever read Harry Potter? He looks sort of like Dumbledoor, but a lot older. He has a long white beard and very long white hair – as if he hasn’t cut it in centuries. On the smallest throne is the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit looks kind-of like the spirit of people, but instead of a gold circle, it is more like a long, silver, wavy mist. The next room is the kitchen. It is tangerine orange with a copper stove. Oh- and the angels are so pretty. They look like humans but instead of large wings like everyone imagines, they have small wings. They are silvery with little sparks of gold around them that come from them- making them shine. They don’t walk on the ground, they sort of glide above it. Some of them wear gold aprons and a gold chef hat. They are the cooks who work in the kitchen.

That is my dream. I hope God sends it to you, too.

Glimpse of heaven... through Christian's eyes

Yesterday, a usually bleary-eyed Christian came down from his nap - his eyes shining bright and a smile that lit up his face. As soon as he saw me, he said, "I was in heaven in my dream!" Here is our conversation:

C: I was in heaven in my dream!

M: Did you see anyone?

C: Yes, God.

M: What did He look like?

C: He was as big as this house!

M: Did He say anything?

C: Yes, I love you and will always be with you (big smile).

M: What did heaven look like?

C: It was as big as this house!

M: Was anyone else there?

C: Yes, Jesus.

M: What did Jesus look like?

C: I don't want to tell you (acting shy).

M: Was anyone else there?

C: Yes, Moses.

M: What was Moses doing?

C: He was making a picture of a cat.

M: trying to supress a laugh

C: that's all.

The best part was the holy, inocent, absolute belief in his eyes - in his heart. My little Christian visited heaven and it was good. Faith through the eyes of a child -what a blessing.

We talked about this dream at heaven and Hannah shared an incredible dream about heaven she has had repeatedly  since she was 4. She is writing it down for me. When she is done, I'll post it. It is amazing.

Heaven is close. God is with us. Blessed be His holy name.

Thursday and Friday in North Carolina

Thursday was a big day for us. Aric and i enjoyed a wonderful 3 hour bike ride from our little town of Lake Lure to Ruthefordton - the next town over. I have to mention that our ride took us right into town and dead-ended at the hospital there. That is a significant - as you'll see. After our wonderful ride, we gathered the children and headed to Asheville - about 1 hrs away and filled with lots of art, restaurants, and just a great place to hang out for an afternoon. While there, we visited the comedy store where the kids tried on some lovely hats

We also enjoyed looking at local artist's handiwork and picking out a few treasures to take home. Then, we set out to find dinner. We chose a great little vegan/vegetarian restaurant called "The Laughing Seed." We decided to take a step out of our comfort zone and eat at a restaurant that serves peanuts in some of the foods. We brought food for Anton to eat and before we sat down, I wiped down the table, under the table, and items on the table. We ordered non-peanut foods and enjoyed a nice dinner. Anton had Mac and Cheese that I brought from our cottage. After dinner, we headed home. About 1/2 way home, Anton informed us that he felt like he had to throw up. We pulled over and got him out of the car. I spotted two hives on his face and realized that we were dealing with an allergic reaction. I immediately gave him benedryl - after which he complained of a funny feeling in his throat. He also said he was feeling tired - and his voice was weak. We hopped in the car and started toward the hospital we had found earlier in the day. I called the allergist who, after explaining his symptoms, said that we should go ahead and give him the epi pen. So, I pulled over again and Aric gave Anton the epi pen. Anton was brave - didn't even cry (even though both Christian and Hannah were crying - and even Aric shed a tear). We then drove (fast) to the hospital. By the time we arrived, the hives and stomach ache were gone and Anton was just about back to normal, aside from being nervous over the whole situation. He handled it amazingly well. We were checked in and he was given an extra dose of benedryl and some steroid to stop any further reacions from developing. We arrived back at the cottage, safe and sound (though shaken-up) at about 11pm. We are SOOO thankful to God for protecting Anton- so thankful for the epi pen's effectiveness, and so thankful that we learned an important lesson about Anton's allergy before something far worse happened.

Friday morning, we awoke to a new day - our last day there. Earlier in the week, we promised Christian that he could go for a pony ride, since he was too young for horseback riding. So,while I took the older kids to putt putt and the pool,  Aric took Christian for a pony ride - and they had a grand time. While waiting, Aric had a little photo shoot of Christian by an old, rusty Ford truck - very fun. Here are a few pictures:

That afternoon, we headed down to the rumbling mountain stream to climb on rocks. It was fun - though a bit challenging with Christian. All in all, a good last day in North Carolina.

Now, just a few fun shots:

First, two fantastic shots of Aric's

Christian's car nap

Hannah pausing to sketch a waterfall

Christian "mom, I can't get my shirt on"

And, my little tree-hugger

Tuesday and Wednesday - Lake Lure, NC

So, Tuesday and Wednesday were great days also. On Tuesday, Aric and I enjoyed a nice bike ride through the beautiful foothills.  The roads were so smooth and the hills were so fun. It was one of the most enjoyable biking areas I have ever been to.

Before this lovely afternoon bike ride, though, we spent some time playing putt putt and tennis with the kids. Of all the activities we did, both Anton and Christian thought the putt putt was the best. hmmm.

 

We then just relaxed and enjoyed a nice dinner and quiet evening (after the kids were in bed, that is).

On Wednesday, Aric enjoyed his own day or mountain biking in the morning and then golfing with my dad all afternoon. He left the house at around 9 a.m. and returned, happy and tired at around 7pm.

Meanwhile, My dad, step-mom (Jeanne) and I took the kids to Chimney Rock for hiking. It was fantastic. The trails were beautiful, we got to see at 400 ft. waterfall (the one in the film "the Last of the Mohicans." And, we climbed to the top of Chimney rock for a beautiful view of Lake Lure.  The first picture is taken at the parking lot. The second is on top of Chimney Rock.

 

After all of this, we laid Christian down for a late nap and I took the older kids (while Jeanne stayed with Christian) for a horseback ride. It was so fun. The guide was amazed at Anton, who had never ridden before, because she said he had such good control of the animal and was so relaxed that he rides as if he's taken lessons. Anton was so pleased. It was so lovely strolling along on horseback. The kids had a wonderful time.

Our trip to Lake Lure, NC

Our family spent a lovely week in Lake Lure, NC. We stayed in a beautiful cabin with my Dad and step-mom, Jeanne. The cabin was in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains and on a little 12 acre lake. It was a lovely spot to take a break from routine and enjoy family time, nature, and lots of bike riding.

Our first full day was rainy. But, Aric and I enjoyed our first bike ride through the beautiful countryside. It was so fun. The hills were huge - some over a mile of climbing - but then you reach the top and the views were so beautiful. Then, you get to fly at 40mph down. SOOOOO fun. Since it was raining, we just hung out at the cabin for most of the day.

On Monday, we went over to DuPont State Forest - about an hour drive away and SOOOO completely worth it. It just became a state forest in 2003 and in a 4 mile hike, we saw 3 of the most beautiful waterfalls I've ever seen. The first one was a short .75 mile hike from the parking lot.

 Here we are along the way - the kids just loved hanging out on rocks along the river.

After hiking back to the parking lot, we headed to see 2 other waterfalls. The hiking was so beautiful and the trails were lightly travelled, which was very nice.

The "Tripple Falls" was the first waterfall we came to on this trail. I was amazed. It was stunning.

What made these falls even more fun was that there were trails to climb down to the falls and walk on the rocks . So, we hiked on down.

 After spending time by the water, he headed further up the trail toward our final waterfall of the day. Again, it was just so beautiful, and we could climb down and feel the rush of the water on the rocks below. Very cool.

We have so many more pictures - but these are some favorites. We all enjoyed this amazing. day. 

Stay tuned for the next posting... it was a fantastic week with a ton of fun pictures to share.